Making Our Outsides Match our Insides
-Our Real Value is in Being Ourselves
Continuing our work in recovery, we’re bound to discover some basic truths about ourselves. The process of uncovering our secrets, exposing them, and searching oucharacters reveals our true nature.
For many years, we put on a great show for the people in our lives--until we couldn't keep up the act any longer. Perhaps there wasn’t much that we liked about ourselves, and we were certain that if others really saw us, they wouldn't like us either. Our need for approval was strong, and we learned to wear masks that matched whatever we thought others would like and admire. Now, as we become acquainted with ourselves, we’ll need to make a decision to love ourselves and be just who we are.
As we work with our sponsor in the program, there are questions we can ask ourselves to gage our progress: Do we pretend that nothing bothers us when, in truth, we’re very sensitive? Do we cover our insecurities with jokes and sarcasm? Are we willing to share our fears with someone? Do we dress like a teenager when we’re approaching forty and are basically conservative?
We may want to take another look at those things which we thought “weren’t us.” Maybe we’ve avoided meetings because we “don’t like crowds.” Or maybe we have a secret dream of changing careers but have put off taking action because our dream “wasn’t really right” for us or were afraid to fail. Whatever the answers, we can do the hard work of self-examination without being harsh and critical, which is counter-productive.
Attaining a new understanding of ourselves, and noticing positive changes, help bring about the changes in our behaviors that were promised in early recovery. We'll find that somewhere along the line we've become genuine examples of who we really are. And that's a relief.